Choosing the Right Music for Your Wedding Reception
By John Harris, Bandleader of the Boston band, Shine www.shineband.com
As if there aren’t already enough choices involved in planning a wedding reception, you might want to be aware of some considerations concerning the ever-important ingredient of music. After working out of Boston as a bandleader at over fourteen hundred weddings since 1981 with my band, Shine, I’d love to write a screenplay about some of the more “unusual” things I’ve encountered. Yet before the next "Wedding Crashers" movie is scripted, I'd simply like to make a few useful suggestions to those searching for music.
DJ or Band?
If a reception site has been chosen anywhere near Boston you are already one step ahead. This area is one of the top musical havens in the world and attracts extremely proficient musicians! The Boston bands clearly have the most talent and usually travel a fair distance. A disc jockey is less expensive, able to play selections by original artist, generally does not take up much space and travels just as far. However, people who make a living studying, writing, singing, recording and performing music are more apt to have a better foundation of music- and its presentation. Generally, disc jockeys do not have musical backgrounds and aren’t familiar with certain styles of music—especially swing (e.g., material beyond Kenny G and Glen Miller), ethnic styles and beyond. Though it can be nearly impossible to "play live" certain styles of current radio hits without a computer onstage, playing a good mix cd on a break works very well.
The Choice
Selecting a band can be a frustrating and very time consuming process—just ask some of your married friends. Hiring intangibles such as musical dedication, wedding experience and notes floating around in the air might be something you haven’t done fifty times before. Lucky for you everyone you know has now become a music critic and wants to judge the Grammy Awards in Hollywood. You can’t afford to make a bad decision, your in-laws don’t like the kinds of music as you and your partner do, you live several states away from your Massachusetts wedding site, you’ve picked an extremely popular date, have a limited budget and the bridal blues are getting louder …
Hey, relax. Here are some things to keep in mind:
In making the right choice, consider only bands that have a considerable history of performing at weddings and other parties. Avoid bands just starting out, made up of music students or led by a contractor who hires different players for different “gigs.” If you don’t, chances are by the time your date rolls around, the people in your band haven’t even met each other before. You need a rehearsed group who can accommodate the vast number of unplanned details that appear at every wedding. Pulling off an impromptu song request that has a significant meaning to a relative, dealing with unpredictable catering and scheduling situations, familiarity with your venue, demonstrating reliability before the date and just knowing how to work with different wedding professionals—can be taken care of much better by an experienced band.
Party Crashing
Viewing a band at another event doesn’t always tell the story. Most folks want to see a band in action before they send in a deposit. Sounds reasonable, yet it is increasingly difficult for a number of reasons. A great number of function directors and security personnel at many different facilities during the past several years have been turning away “outsiders.” Unfortunately, after September 11 it has become extremely difficult to check out a band at someone else’s wedding. Couples are getting the boot even after they have dressed nicely, driven a fair distance and unobtrusively arrived toward the latter part of a wedding or party to view a potential band. Many venues are even requiring entertainers to sign statements promising they will not invite prospective clients to view them while performing. Even in the event of successfully gaining entrance, it is very common for said couple to witness a cake cutting ceremony, parent dance, the first live performance of the bride’s younger sister, a half hour speech by a company CEO, an award ceremony, or a half-filled dance floor generated by a CD from the band on break after playing a full-fledged dance set. Has the band played your favorite song yet? Ready to hire?
Seriously, though, it is rare to catch a band performing at just the right date, time and location—then to have a fair performing and viewing situation. Many times, after putting forth considerable effort, people have to anxiously listen from a difficult vantage point and don’t realize that the music “doesn’t sound right” because they are stationed behind the band or in a different room, away from the actual path of the music. Watching potential clients evaluate entertainment when you are powerless to give them what they came for is even more uncomfortable for the entertainer. It is one of the most frustrating experiences a performer can have in this business. No matter how awkward it might seem, the band or DJ must focus on the job they are hired to do, and risk losing future employment.
Viewing by Hearing
A large majority of live bands who specialize in weddings don’t play publicly in nightclubs very often because of the scarcity of places that hire five or six piece bands that can offer a wide range of material. Mostly available are DJs and duos that play along with pre-recorded tracks can fit within a club’s economic restraints. Also, the material a band might play at a nightclub may also be totally different than the music they’d play at a wedding. “Sounds great, now we’d like to bring the family to see you at a wedding next month and hear you guys play some swing” is sometimes heard as you pack up. So how can one really get an idea of what a band can do? Listen carefully to a band CD, demo or website, pay attention to their song list and talk to people.
Videos and DVDs can sometimes be helpful, but you should know that 99% of them are lip-synched and are seldom a true representation. People also tend to hear with their eyes and not focus on the music. After the fifth video the eyes can get a bit blurred from all those tuxedos … A very basic band video costs about $8,000 to produce and can quickly become outdated depending on its content of current music selections. Too many times slick TV style production will also mask the band's overall talent.
With a CD you can really hear the care that a band puts into their product. You can listen to it almost anywhere, and if it’s any good, you should hear many examples that create a true depth of material. Listening to clear MP3's online has made the process even easier. In any case, if a demo has a great variety of songs sung well by different people and features decent horn playing, guitar work and strong background vocals you are headed in the right direction. Having an excellent, diverse song list is also a good indicator that can help in the selection process.
Booking Direct
Performers and entertainment agencies are shoppers too. In fact, most of us know each other in some capacity or another. Here's how it really works: agencies earn a commission from booking a band or DJ. This is almost always added to what the band normally charges. Like anything, there are good agencies and bad ones. Without any disrespect intended, the agents aren't the ones loading equipment, calling the tunes and playing the instruments -they sell. Some provide a good selection process, others persuade you to hire the in-house band or DJ with the highest markup value and move onto the next sale. When couples search the internet for entertainment, many times they will contact both bands and agents. Then they'll receive duplicate materials or correspondence. Many times an agency will expect an entertainer to hold the particular date for them, though the couple has also contacted the entertainer. Many times the performer is unknowingly put in a tough position: accept the job from the couple to keep things simple and more cost effective, or work under the agency's terms -whose goal is to sign any band- and risk hurting a business relationship. Though there are different scenarios due to overwhelming choice, it is customary to remain with an agency if they spend quality time helping you select someone before you contact the same band or DJ they are suggesting. Some confusion can also be avoided by making an initial decision to directly work with the entertainment, or go through an agency.
Waiting…
If you find a band that you think is the one for you, and have a Saturday evening reception or a popular wedding date, don’t put off hiring them. You may know others who learned this lesson. There is a very high likelihood that others are inquiring about the same date, unless your wedding falls between January and the middle of April. Performers generally can’t “hold” these dates due to the high number of Saturday or seasonal calls they get. It can be astounding how many times someone asks for availability for a Saturday in June or October. Many entertainers have a higher price for Saturdays and peak season dates (until Tuesday weddings become popular). Some have differing philosophies on the amount of travel as well. The high majority of couples will book a band with a reliable reputation from a promotional package or website instead of risking waiting for the perfect opportunity to see them live.
Reliability
Keep your ears open for what people say about good bands they’ve heard. Popular bands with solid reputations are popular for a reason. It's very simple: do a great job or don't work. Those who prove themselves with timeliness, helpful information superior musicality and consistency will decrease considerable worry and stress relating to "the big day." Get a phone number and speak directly to the bandleader directly to get a sense of what is offered. Bandleaders who return calls and emails well, send good materials on time, and give non-sugarcoated advice also show that they can be instrumental in having a successful event. They can also give very qualified referrals and of similar bands if they are already booked on your date. References from former clients may be available as well, though it can sometimes be burdensome for newlyweds to gets calls out of the blue to answer detailed questions about their reception experiences.
Plan But Don't Overplan
After the entertainment has been lined up and you are setting up the actual format for the reception, don’t try to choose every song for the band or DJ to play. It is very helpful to indicate your preferred musical styles, but utilize your entertainers' experience in reading a diverse crowd. Also, try to limit the “special dances and announcements” to the most important ones and have them grouped together whenever possible. Interrupting the flow of a wedding reception by consistently stopping and getting everyone’s attention can really stunt the event’s momentum. If you plan to have certain ethnic music, bringing a selected CD that can feature the authentic instrumentation can help the enjoyment of you and your guests (unless your band has a bouzouki player). If you are having a “non traditional” type of reception with little or no announcements, be sure to have a simple, written game plan that the entertainers, caterer and function coordinator can refer to. This way people won’t be frequently tapping you on the shoulder, forcing more decision making.
Have Fun!
Finally, after all the planning, try not to worry about which small detail could go wrong. It’s done; let it unfold on its own! Let your vendors handle the behind-the-scenes stress, that’s partly what you are paying for to begin with. Have fun, as you never know what’ll happen that you won’t be able to change—like Hurricane Gloria on September 27, 1985—my own wedding date!
