The Write Occasion
Helpful Wedding Invitation Tips & Proper Etiquette
HE PROPOSED! And you, of course, said "Yes!" Now it's time to get down to the business of planning your wedding. We don't have to tell you that your wedding is one of the biggest and most important celebrations of your life! But do you realize that the first impression of your wedding day will all begin with your wedding invitation?
Soon after the main details have been arranged - the church, the reception location, the times, etc., it's time to decide on that perfect wedding invitation. Keep in mind that the invitation you select in many ways sets the tone for the entire event. Your invitation also offers the opportunity to make a striking first impression on your guests before your special day.
When your guests receive your wedding invitation in the mail, they will get an idea of when, how, where and what your wedding day is going to be like. It's also nice when the invitations are somewhat reflective of the bride's and groom's personalities.
To insure that your wedding invitation is perfect, read the helpful tips below in proper etiquette and helpful tips.
Check List for Ordering Invitations
Before your scheduled appointment, here are a few bits of information that you'll need to know. You will need to bring the following information with you to your appointment:
- Date and time of wedding
- Location and complete address of wedding and reception locations
- Number of people and number invitations needed for wedding and reception
- Groom’s middle name
- Bride and Groom’s parents full names
Wedding Invitation Tips & Etiquette
The wedding invitation sets the tone of the wedding!
Proper etiquette for Formal Wedding:
- Invitations printed on heavyweight ivory, cream, or white paper using a classic letter style.
- Formal, traditional wording is used.
- These are usually engraved and traditionally written in the third person style.
Proper etiquette for Informal Wedding:
- If your wedding is informal, you are free to customize your invitation with more informal language and style.
- Fun, unique fonts and ink colors are ok to use.
- It is ok to invite guests via email, phone or word of mouth.
Printing of Invitation:
- Engraved – raised print, extensive and expensive
- Thermographed – relatively new process that offers raised print, quite a savings from the engraved process, looks just like engraved.
- Photocopied – just a copy, not raised, not recommended for wedding invitations.
Hosting of Wedding:
- Invitations should reflect who the host is.
- Although, it is not incorrect to use the traditional style when the couple is covering the entire cost of the wedding; some wish to use this style out of respect for their parents and tradition.
- There are many different ways to word wedding invitations, so just about every situation can be covered very nicely.
- If your In Laws are not assisting with cost, you can still include their names out of respect.
Additional Tips:
Honour vs. Honor??? Proper etiquette says that if the couple is being married in a house of worship, the Honour form is appropriate. If the wedding is held at an outside venue or a hotel, the spelling Honor is used.
Need to save money?? Be careful of proper etiquette!!
A question often asked…..Can the reception information be printed on the bottom of the actual invitation forgoing having to buy reception cards?
Answer: Yes if you would like, but etiquette says No!
The brides always have the decision, but etiquette says… there are two separate events that are occurring, a wedding and a reception, so two different sets of invitations should be given. If the wedding and reception is held at the same location, some brides will opt to go ahead and put a line at the very bottom of the wedding invitation that reads, “Reception to follow ceremony.” This is not proper etiquette.
Two different locations…. most definitely have a separate reception card printed listing all of the details of the reception and its location. By putting both sets of information on the same invitation, it will junk it up and be too wordy.
Additionally, the reception invitation can include information, not mentioned on the wedding invitation, about formal attire, such as black tie. Typically, no other dress code is mentioned.
Other reception invitation tips worth mentioning:
For brides who are having a destination wedding and are planning a reception in their hometown after the wedding, including a reception card information as to the in-town celebration is a good way to invite guests to attend the celebration if they are not able to make it to the destination. It is considered impolite to invite guests to a wedding and not to the reception. This is implying that some guests are important enough to entertain and some are not.
The Response Card Tips & Etiquette
A little trick that my brides find very helpful…..Some guests may forget to write their names on the response card. In order to keep track of who responds and who does not, make a list of your guests with a number assigned to each name. Mark the corresponding number in pencil in the corner on the back of each response card. If you receive a response card back without the persons name on it. You will know quickly who has replied by simply turning the card over and comparing the number on the back to the name on your spreadsheet.
Most brides think that they should have the response cards returned to them. However, the cards go back to the person hosting the wedding. If the parents are the host, the parent’s names should be printed on the response envelope. Often the bride’s parents will live out of town and the bride is the one who is handling all the details, so in some situations, brides will decide to have the responses returned to them instead of her parents. Make a note that etiquette says it should be returned to the host.
Less formal responses??
Using email responses is relatively new and is appropriate for informal (never formal) weddings.
Because it is so new and some may not be comfortable with sending emails for a wedding reply, it would be best to include a land address to reply to also for those who may not have a computer.
Invitations Do’s
Order Extras – even the most carefully held pen can slip up. Invitations typically come in increments of 25. It is far less costly to print extras that you may not need than to go back to the printer to order more. Chances are, there will be additions to your list, so it’s better to be safe than sorry. At the very least, order extra envelopes.
Think about where you want responses sent – Usually gifts are sent to the return address on the envelope or to the address printed by the RSVP. If the bride lives in New York, but her wedding will be held in Phoenix where her parents live, it is far easier to have gifts sent to her New York home. Also, who will be keeping track of responses. Whether it is the bride or mother of the bride…that person should receive the responses.
Allow plenty of time – typically many of my companies have very quick turn around, but you need to factor in time for reviewing the proof, shipping, etc. You will also need to allow plenty of time to address, assemble and mail, especially if you are using a calligrapher.
Get Organized – Develop a system of organization that makes the process of addressing and mailing your invitations easy, not painful. When you request your list from your in-laws, ask them to send the list complete with names and full addresses. And to include names of children or unmarried partner to be invited. Use a database to make it easier.
Check Postage- It is strongly encouraged to make sure you know how much your invite will cost to mail, if not, it might be a costly mistake with returned invitations!
Use the correct names of guests of invited guests – it is more welcoming to have the correct name on the invitation of your friend’s guests than saying, “Miss Smith’s Guest” or “and guest.”
Use correct titles – It is very flattering when invitations are addressed correctly. Make sure you use professional titles, “The Honorable” for an elected official, etc. If there is doubt, ask before addressing.
Never separate the man’s first and last name - When addressing whether it be for an invitation or a thank you card….people typically write out names with the man’s name first – John and Susan Smith. Proper etiquette says that you never separate the man’s first and last name so the female name should always be written first….Susan and John Smith. This is a tip that most people don’t know and the mistake is made often.
Invitations Don’ts
Registry or Gift Information – No matter what people tell you…. It is extremely poor taste to insert a “helpful” list of places where the couple is registered. This information can easily be shared with parents and attendants who can spread the word as to where the couple is registered.
The inclusion of “No Gifts” – often second time bride and grooms have everything they need and will opt to include “No Gifts Please” on the invitation, regardless the joy and happiness includes the gift of giving and by printing those simple words, it is not acceptable. Again, if this is the couple’s desire, parents and attendants can spread the word to guests.
The inclusion of “No Children” – never print “no children” or “Adults Only” on an invitation. The way the invitation is addressed, whether it is on the outside or inner envelope indicates who is exactly invited and by omission who is not invited to the wedding.
Dictating Dress – Some couples want to include “Black Tie” on the invitation. This is incorrect to do on a ceremony invitation. If it seems essential to include this information, it can be added to the reception invitation card and placed in the lower-right hand corner.
Labels – Do not use computer generated labels for your invitations. A personal touch is essential, just plan ahead and take the time to hand write out all of the invitations.
Choice of entrée – many brides request this for their response cards….proper etiquette says it is best not to put entrée choices on the response card. If you are offering menu choices, work out the arrangements with the location or caterer to provide “French” service – where each wait-staff member carries a tray with both or all entrees already plated and offers each guest his or her choice.
Alcohol information – it is unnecessary to put “alcohol-free” or wine and beer only on the invitation. It’s a wedding, not a cocktail hour.
Don’t offend your B-list – Do not invite your second tier of guests less than 3 weeks before the wedding. Inviting people at the last minute is obvious that they are on the B list and they will not feel welcomed.
The Write Occasion
Peoria, Arizona
Let The Write Occasion help take the stress away from part of your wedding planning! We offer pampered service ~ come, sip a soda or glass of wine and peruse a vast selection of invitation designs in comfort. We carry the same great invitation lines that all of the stationery stores carry and we can assist you with proper etiquette advice as well as help you find the right wording. All invitations are custom to your desire. We even extend to you a 15 to 20% discount on your entire wedding invitation order! Your wedding invitation is an important keepsake and heirloom you'll treasure for years to come. Trust only a professional with your invitations! Attached you will find helpful information that will assist you in proper wedding etiquette when it comes to invitations.
The Write Occasion
By Appointment
Jen McGlasson
Phone: (623) 451-3704
Email: writeoccasion@cox.net
Website: www.writeoccasion.com
