WeDdiquette and Choosing a Planner - Wedding Etiquette
When planning a wedding it is so important to be aware of proper wedding etiquette. This is the biggest and most important social event you will ever plan, sao you want to be well informed. While things have changed dramatically since the first books on etiquette were written, it is always important to remember to be gracious, kind and aware of others, that is the true meaning of etiquette.
In my experience, the most frequently asked questions are:
Can I include my registry information in my wedding invitation?
No, it is not proper to include any information about gifts in your invitation… an invitation is just that, an invitation to be a part of your most special day, not a request for a gift.
What to do if we don’t want children at the wedding?
The best approach is word of mouth through friends and family, however, sometimes this is just not enough and you will have to deal with it in a more proactive approach. For instance, you may include “Adult Reception” or “Adult Only Reception” on your reply card or another alternative, would be to have your reply cards printed to say “ 2 seats have been reserved for you” indicating your expectation for no other guests to attend. Be prepared for some critics on this subject and be willing to hold steadfast with your desires.
What if the wedding is cancelled do I have to return the gifts?
Yes, all gifts must be returned unopened and unused if a wedding is cancelled for any reason. That is why we recommend no gifts be opened until after the wedding.
How long do I have to write my thank you notes?
You should try to write your thank you notes as soon as you receive your gift but if you get behind the proper amount of time is no longer than three months from the wedding date.
Can I wear white if it is my second wedding?
It is entirely up to you… the rules of wearing white have been relaxed and it is perfectly acceptable for a second time bride to wear anything she likes.
Can I have a cash bar at my reception?
No. It is inappropriate to invite your guests and ask them to pay for anything at your reception. If a bar does not fit within your budget it is best not to offer it than expect your guests to pay. There are plenty of alternatives and remember alcohol is not a requirement for any reception.
Wedding Gift Etiquette – is it proper to bring a gift to the wedding? What if I am not going to the wedding?
All wedding gifts should be delivered to the address shown on the invitation and never brought to the wedding or reception. Sending a gift if you are not attending the wedding is not necessary, but very nice.
As a guest, what should I wear to the wedding?
What to wear all depends on the time of day, formality of the wedding and location of the wedding. While black and red used to be no-no’s at a wedding, today the color choices have broken the barrier and almost anything goes; however, white should still remain just for the bride.
Remember, wediquette or etiquette is a sensitive awareness of other’s feelings, so think with your heart first and you can’t go wrong.
Should I hire a Wedding Consultant?
Did you know … on an average a bride will spend over 200 hours planning her wedding and may contact over 100 vendors trying to find “just the right ones”. No wonder the planning process quickly becomes stressful, time consuming and overwhelming for the bride. Today, hiring a Wedding Consultant is not a luxury, it is essential for any well-planned event.
In a survey conducted by SuperWeddings.com and the International Institute of Weddings, 72% of recently married brides who did not use a Wedding Consultant or Wedding Planner for their weddings said that based on their experience, if they could do it over again, they would indeed hire a Wedding Consultant to assist with the planning process, or at least have one to be on hand to supervise the wedding day itself.
So what exactly is a wedding consultant? A Professional Wedding Consultant is trained in all aspects of weddings, ceremonies, and receptions. They are knowledgeable in wedding traditions and etiquette. They know “what to do”, “when to do it” and “how to do it”. Wedding Consultants are creative and innovative, excellent negotiators and deal makers. They are detailed and organized, have a wealth of information at their fingertips and know all the best vendors in the business. They will help you establish a budget, prepare timelines and itineraries and help everyone stay on track saving you time, money and loads of stress. In a nutshell, a Wedding Consultant has your best interest at heart and by the time the wedding is over will be a friend for life!!
We recommend including the fees for a Wedding Consultant in your budget from the beginning. Depending on rates and locations an average of 8-10% of your wedding budget should be allocated to hiring a Wedding Consultant. When interviewing Consultants, ask how they charge for their services; how many weddings they have planned; get a list of referrals and call on them. Spend time getting to know them before hiring them to be sure you like their personality and will be comfortable working with them. When you consider the cost of a wedding today, the fees for a Consultant are a small price to pay to ensure the wedding day of your dreams, why leave anything to chance.
Lisa Bauer,
Certified Wedding Consultant
The Wedding Navigator
a division of NT&T Destination Services
239-262-1914
