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Wedding Do’s and Dont's

Ceremony with Honor Ahem

Wedding Officiant, Event Coordinator, & Beauty Advisor

410-236-2426 Baltimore or 866-992-9393 toll free

Website: http://www.ceremonywithhonor.com

 

As a wedding professional and recent bride, I have learned a few do and don'ts in creating the perfect day. These statements are in no way set in stone or made to intimidate your planning. Nor  is there any deliberate means of offending couples, vendors, or others planning or in the wedding business.

These do's and don'ts are just advice from my own personal and business experiences in weddings, speaking to other couples who planned their wedding, testimonials from other vendors and having my own stress with planning my wedding in March, 2005.

1. Do consider using a Wedding Planner :
• To save time and money- Planners know vendors, can work payment arrangements, and know weddings inside and out. Wedding Planners and Coordinators, like myself, do offer different packages to choose. Beginning to End Planning, 1/2 Planning, Vendor Referral, Decorating and Setup at reception, Day Wedding Coordination, Honeymoon Planning and more.
• If you are unable to dedicate 12 to 14 hours per week to plan your day yourself. Twice the amount of time you get closer to your date.
• You have more than 100 guests. The amount of planning becomes overwhelming for larger parties. A professional planner can oversee that jobs get done timely.
• If you are having a weekend wedding or planning to have on a holiday. Be advised that if you are having your event during a holiday, your costs may be higher and staff may not be happy. Let a professional planner help to things running smoothly.
• If you are getting married in a location you are unfamiliar. It is hard enough planning. Having your wedding in a location that you are not familiar with can be harder. Get a professional that has the time to locate things like hotel accommodations for guests, transportation, vendors in that are in the area, etc.
• Your desired location does not have an event manager or coordinator on duty during your event. Ask- some just sit in the office and are there for emergency reasons or to lock the doors later- not to oversee how your wedding is doing.
2. Do use eBay and Internet to find deals! You can have a beautiful wedding and stay under budget- Know one needs to know but you.
3. Do delegate tasks to others. You are only human and can only do so much!
   
4. Do make a wedding binder with ideas, budget, contracts, etc..
   
5. Do set up a wedding website for guests to view wedding information. Please see vendor page for wedding web designer information. You can have date, time, place, directions, hotels in area, wedding photos, registry information and more
6. Do use email for RSVP on your invitation. It is OK- the etiquette books may say "no" but most of them were written before email technology came to us - Most people cannot live without their computer and those people will remember to RSVP though email before they think of calling or sending a response back. It saves you money on stamps too! You can create a free email account on Yahoo. Make it a email address that reflects your day. For instance, Honor used receptionforMikeandHonor@yahoo for RSVP. Over 1/2 of my guests replied in that manner.
7. Do decide early you want a formal sit down dinner or buffet. (Guests can RSVP via email and tell you their dinner choice for a sit down too) This will save you time at tasting. Be advised a sit down dinner will take longer, require more staff and your guests have to remain seated but is more formal. A buffet gives guests more liberty and may require less staffing- it goes much faster than a sit down. Some caterer have stations too. Like a carving or pasta station in addition to buffet style. Don't let caterers fool you with this- some may prefer to do one or another because of costs or staff and persuade you to do what they like. Do it your way!
   
8. Do plan your wedding so everyone has fun! Determine your wedding type (Formal, Semi-formal, Casual) and theme (romantic, beach, traditional, contemporary, etc.) based on age of guests and style. Also, by where your wedding will be held. A casual beach theme does not go well in a country setting. Be sure make sure the type and theme reflects you !
   
9. Do get your hair trimmed - the dead ends cut off- to keep your hair looking healthy on your big day. Have color touched up a week or so before. Nothing drastic- wait until after your wedding for a new color or perm, etc. Look at pictures of how you want your hair and makeup to look. Use your own foundation, powder, and mascara when doing bridal makeup- even if the sylist has there own. Your skin is used to your products and will eliminate flare ups. A trial hair and make up is not necessary if you communicate with your stylist and enough time is allotted on your special day to change if you don't like first run.
   
10. Do make sure that your desire location has handicapped access, if needed. Do they supply chairs and tables? Linens? Check on parking, lighting, visibility too.
    
11. Do make sure that if you are planning an outside wedding there is an alternate inside or under cover location. I know that you would rather the weather be absolutely beautiful and we hope it is but make sure there is a "just in case" back up. (It is good luck for it to rain on your wedding day- so if that happens you can still have a perfect day!)
12. Do change up from traditional- It is O.K.. If you do not want to wear traditional wedding shoes, a veil, or whatever- that is fine. Substitutes can fit and make your wedding even more unique. For example, I wore a tea length wedding gown with light pink shoes. My husband had a light pink tie and hankie to match my shoes. Everyone loved it! Create your own look- it's your day!
13. Do your wedding the way you want! I know it is easier said than done- even if mom is footing the bill- it is your day- they had theirs already. Tempers may flare and personalities may change temporarily but wants the day arrives everyone will be happy and having a great time!
14. Do ask for who is paying for what. Well not in those terms- but sit down with family and see what contributions are being made from whom. Maybe you have to pay for your own wedding- still ask for help. There are so many ways to save money on your big day. You can do handmade favors for example- You can get mom and sisters to help.
15. Do make sure every vendor has a time line! Make sure the minister is aware of the ceremony music and photograph time. The DJ or band will need to know when you cut the cake. The photographer will want to know when the first dance will be and so on.
16. Do tip your wedding vendors accordingly. Ask wedding Planner or research for tip list.
17. Do make a list for everything. Questions to ask certain vendors, things to do each week, each day, the kind of photos you want taken and with who on your day, etc..
18. Do Keep a list of gifts. Who gave you what. You will never remember! Make sure to send out your thank you notes within 4-6 weeks after your wedding. You can get pack of 10 Thank you notes- very pretty- for $1.00 a pack at Michael's craft store. They do not have to match your invitation- save the money on stationary. In fact, save even more money by making your own invitations. Michael's , Target and Wal-Mart have beautiful invitation packages. Trust me know one will know that you did not spend $300. on your invitations. Need help with wording, ask Honor.
19. Do not chose a date because you are worried about everyone else. There will never be a date that is good for everyone! I know from experience, my date was Good Friday. A lot of guests said they would not come because they had church duties. We told them we understood. However, as it turns out everyone did come. It is your only wedding day- your guests love you and will make an attempt to join you on your special day regardless.
20. Do not try to make everyone happy- it will not work. There will be someone that will not like the day, time, location, flowers, food, style, whatever- it does not matter it is still your day- Keep it that way!
    
21. Do not think that because a vendor charges more they are better. Look at their work, get referrals, etc. Sometimes lower priced vendors just love what they do and money may not be an issue. Small vendors can make payment arrangements or even trade. Just ask.
    
22. Do not sign a contract or agreement without discussing with your fiancée/fiancé. Work together with your wedding decisions. Even if the other person says it does not matter to them- it is their day too- so share ideas!
    
23. Do not forget to get a marriage license. That is your sole responsibility. The minister or officiant cannot do it for you. You must go to the courthouse in the county where the ceremony will be held. No exceptions. Figure out the county and call the courthouse for directions, times, whether both of you need to attend, what information is required, cost, and form of payment. Each county in Maryland is completely different with prices and form of payments. See Marriage License information page for more details on marriage licenses in Maryland.
    
24. Do not wear perfume or cologne for outside weddings! It is not fun to swat at bees and bugs while trying to say your vows.
    
25. Do not have the "real rings" on o the ring bearers pillow if he is under 6 years old. Tying them on the pillow tight is not a good idea either. It takes to long to try to get the rings off the pillow and we do not want the best man using his teeth to loosen the knot. Trust me- you can put fake ones on the pillow and can relax. Boys will be boys and that pillow may not stay right in his cute little hands.
    
26. Do not have the best man (best person other than officiant to hold rings- maid of honor has to hold two bouquets already) put the rings in his pocket. He may be fishing for them or drop them- they are hard to find in the grass and even harder when the bounce on the floor. Have your best man keep the rings on his finger (thumb or pinkie) so he knows they are there the whole ceremony. Play it safe.

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