Best Laid Plans
Weddings do not always turn out exactly as planned. Initial preparations can be ornate, especially when planning well in advance. During the early stages there are a variety of possible elements to consider. At that point it’s easy to throw in everything but the kitchen sink: Elaborate processionals and recessionals, personalized vows, candlelighting, mixing of sands, readings by family or friends, a musical solo, handfasting, or tree planting, to name a few.
Generally over time, the ideas evolve and simplify as the couple becomes clearer on what is truly important to them—or perhaps they just get tired and/or run low on money to make it all happen. One Scottish groom had wanted to have a kilt sewn from his family tartan, until he found out it was too spendy to have one made. The couple opted instead to rent costumes for their Celtic/Renaissance wedding. She wore a scarfy sort of Maid Marian ensemble, and he, a rather big guy, ended up looking like King Henry VIII in a poet’s shirt, green velvet tunic and a cap with a Peacock feather. The groomsmen dressed in chain maille. My guess is the wedding was still over-budget, as the check the groom wrote me bounced. It was a couple of weeks before I was able to collect.
Some elements involve critters, such as a canine ring bearer or butterfly release. Like kids, animals can steal the show. There was the overgrown yellow lab who excitedly “hauled” her young flower girl/escort to the front of the church. This occurred at such lightning speed that the little girl didn’t have time to drop any petals, apart from a big clump at the end. Or the dog that was entertained by being given a bone prior to the ceremony. The setting was very homey, in front of the fireplace in the couple’s living room. Somewhere there is a videotape with a very loud sound effect—the dog happily grinding away on his bone.
Other times dogs are even less polite—the Dachshund that left a “gift” beside the bridal arch that no one noticed before the ceremony. Then there’s man’s best friends who have feasted on, God forbid, wedding cake or other expensive snacks. One of my brides had planned a butterfly release and sent away for a dozen or more of the graceful creatures. Unfortunately, a few days before the ceremony, her dog ate most of them. I think a total of four survived for the release, which was kind of pathetic.
I don’t recommend candlelighting for outdoor ceremonies because of the wind factor. But some choose to take their chances. One couple put a small wedding together at the last minute. The bride was a nature lover and insisted on an outdoor ceremony on the back lawn even though it was raining. She had placed a ring of glass candleholders filled with votive cups all around us, which her helpers did their best to light—and re-light. Alas, it was raining so hard that many of them literally fizzled out. Meanwhile we were so behind schedule that it was dark by the time the ceremony began, too dark, in fact, for me to see to read. The groom’s mother held a flashlight for me so I could read from my ceremony book, which I juggled in one hand while holding an umbrella in the other. The bride took it all in good humor, rolling her eyes and giggling. She might have known, she said, after all, her first name is “Rayne.”
At a planning meeting with one of my brides, she stated proudly that she came from a rather theatrical family. Her plan was for her Maid of Honor, her sister, to begin the processional by singing a solo. This would be dramatic, as she would enter atop a spiral staircase that led from the balcony of the venue’s mansion down to the lawn where the guests were seated. The sister would continue singing all the way down the aisle, ending her solo while standing before the guests. The logistics concerned me, as a long dress, tall heels, and a steep stairway are not a good combination, not to mention that the sister would have her hands full juggling a hand-held mic and a bouquet. As it turned out, it rained and was chilly on the day of the wedding, so a tent was erected on the lawn, from which the guests could not even see the balcony. Not that it mattered; the sister had caught laryngitis, and so there was no solo.
There was drama in the family, nevertheless, in the form of the bride’s father who kept getting lost. He was from out of town and had missed the rehearsal dinner the night before while he drove in circles, unable to find the restaurant. And now, on the wedding day, he was missing in action again. He was also unreachable by cell—being technologically challenged in addition to lacking any sense of direction. Fortunately, he did eventually show, though delaying the start time—or maybe it just took longer than planned for the brides and bridesmaids to get ready. The dressing rooms were on the second story of the mansion. Even after all of the guests had arrived, we could hear a lot of high heels scurrying back and forth upstairs. The groom grew increasingly nervous while he waited, persuading the bartender to serve him some liquid courage before the ceremony. After still more waiting, he sent someone to deliver a message to the bride that if she wanted him sober for the ceremony, she had better hurry! She soon appeared and the rest of the wedding went off without a hitch, if you’ll pardon the pun.
With weddings, as with life in general, things don’t always go according to plan, and the best laid plans have a way of changing. Still, with a sense of humor and flexibility, a couple’s wedding day can be a wonderful celebration of love and family togetherness, even if it’s sometimes full of surprises.
Rev. Leah Light
Tags:handfasting minister officiant vows wedding ceremony Wedding planning
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March 9th, 2009 at 3:50 am
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