Sweet Wedding Music vs. Sour Notes
As a minister, I’ve observed all kinds of wonderful musical elements within a ceremony, from traditional classical to modern/unique. I’ve also heard some proverbial sour notes, where music didn’t work so well. Here I will focus on the music for the ceremony itself (as opposed to the dance tunes for the reception).
For a larger or more formal wedding, there are usually three segments of music leading up to the ceremony–first: calm background music accompanies guests while they are being seated and waiting for the “show” to begin. Usually 30 minutes’ worth of pre-ceremony music is sufficient. Second, a change to something perhaps slow and stately marks the beginning of the processional, as the wedding party appears. Third, after the bridesmaids, groomsmen, ring bearer, and flower girl have all walked, there is a dramatic pause and the music changes again for the bride to make her grand entrance. And yes, that men’s wear commercial has it right: it’s always about the bride! With all eyes upon her, this is her moment to shine!
There are many selections a bride can choose from for her own processional besides the tried and true “Here Comes the Bride.” One of my brides arrived at the aisle across a grassy lawn, on a Harley, to “Born to be Wild.” Another chose, “If You Want it, Here it is, Come and Get it,” after her bridesmaids had walked to “Stairway to Heaven.” I’ve heard everything from classical to jazz, soul music to the Beatles to Hawaiian love songs, and at a Christmas wedding, music from “The Nutcracker.”
There can also be music during the ceremony, often while candles are being lit, or sands poured. A live solo is nice for this purpose, since it gives the bride and groom something to do–turning toward and appreciating the artist–as opposed to gazing self-consciously into each other’s eyes to a very long CD selection. Trust me, when this happens, three minutes can feel like three hours.
Music at the end of the ceremony is most often upbeat and triumphant, and usually one long selection will accompany the bride and groom and all the attendants, as well as the exiting guests.
The worst possible thing that can happen musically is … nothing; dead air, that is. I’ve seen where a bride chose a song that was barely long enough for her nine bridesmaids to walk to, and an unforeseen delay at the beginning caused the music to run out, leaving an awkward silence before the DJ noticed and restarted the music. Sometimes, too, DJ’s fall asleep at the switch, or are placed where they can’t see and take cues from the wedding party.
Technical difficulties can also throw a monkey wrench into the works. A hot summer wedding comes to mind, in which the guests were seated a half-hour late (better than 30 minutes of baking in the sun), while the sound man scrambled to get the equipment to work. Finally, the music came to life, but the speaking mic’s did not, meaning that, alas, many of the guests could not hear my beautifully worded ceremony or the couple’s sweet and sentimental vows. On top of everything else, this same DJ then played the wrong music (jazz, when they’d chosen country). Needless to say, this made for a very unhappy bride. Unfortunately, there are no do-overs. Marriages are intended to be a one-time event, for life. She couldn’t very well say, “I’m sure not going to hire that guy for my next wedding…”
Whether your music man or woman is a professional DJ or a high tech friend who is handy with an Ipod, it is good to have a solid game plan well before it’s time for your wedding bells to ring. The right music entertains guests, sets the pace, creates ambiance, and ultimately, adds beauty and feeling to the most important day in the rest of your life.
Rev. Leah Light
Tags:minister officiant vows wedding ceremony
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