Everyday Wedding advice

The recent downturn in the economy will have an affect on wedding planning and on the business of merchants who depend on brides and grooms for their livlihood. People still get married, no matter what the economy, but they scale back on the size of the wedding and on spending in general. As we have seen in past economic downturns, they will choose a less expensive location, less expensive food, and cut back on serving alcohol (a budget breaker at most weddings).  They may eliminate the “luxury” services, such as videography, photo booths, chocolate fountains, and other items that can add to the uniqueness of a wedding.

What can we as vendors do to keep clients coming in the door? First, look at your customer service. If it isn’t top notch, couples will either choose one of your competitors or they will forgo your service entirely. You need to add value in some way that makes you stand out from your competitors.

Second, how is your pricing? If in the past you priced your services to attract the up-scale client and not the average bride and groom, you might need to rethink that.

This is not a time to stop advertising, but it is a time to rethink how you are spending your advertising dollars. If you don’t track where contacts come from, you might want to start doing that. Did they find you at a wedding show, in a wedding guide book, or on-line? Did a past client refer them to you? Once you know where your business comes from, you can focus your advertising more closely.

If your business has debt, find a way to pay it off. More small businesses fail in tough times because of an excess of debt than from any other issue. Your goal should be to have enough money in your bank account to weather the down months until the economy turns around and couples begin purchasing again.

Yes, times are tough, but with careful planning, we can weather the slow down in business until the economy turns around.

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In terms of weather, outdoor weddings can be a dicey business.  Mother Nature does not always cooperate.  Most of my couples have been pretty lucky, though a few have had to deal with extreme weather challenges.  There was the couple who held an outdoor ceremony in a friends’ backyard on the first day of spring, a risky endeavor perhaps anywhere, but especially so in Oregon.  The day before their ceremony it was sunny and nice, and the day after as well, but on their wedding day, it poured buckets the entire time. 

They had erected a tent that kept the guests more-or-less dry, though water still came in around the sides and muddied the grass floor.  My place at the open end of the tent meant that I was pelted with rainwater for the duration.  The Unity candle set, even with glass chimneys, would not stay lit.  Guests shivered.   The bride and groom smiled graciously.  We got through the rather long, arduous ceremony they had chosen, beginning with a ceremonial handwashing of all the guests as they entered the tent—more cold water from a pitcher and bowl.  So water was definitely the theme of the day, and rain wasn’t the only moisture to dampen their spirits.  That morning the couple had awakened to flooding in their downstairs apartment due to an upstairs neighbors’ plumbing problem that quickly became their problem.   

I’ve seen mid summer days that should have been hot, but were not.  Shivering brides and bridesmaids have marched down the aisle, dressed in backless, sleeveless dresses—and goosebumps.  Contrastingly, there are sweltering summer days where men in the bridal party are buttoned up in 3-piece black tuxes and bow ties, with perspiration pouring from their faces.  I recall another very sweaty groom at a church wedding.  He had indulged in a few beers beforehand to calm his jitters.  Adding to his distress, the air conditioner in the sanctuary quit working.  During the bridesmaid’s solo, I slipped him a tissue (I keep one handy in case of tears), so he could mop his brow.  A towel is what he really needed. 

One July during a heat wave, I officiated a formal wedding—the men were in gloves and tuxes with long tails.  The bride’s traditional gown, though strapless, was made up of layers and layers of polyester, which does not exactly breathe. There was no breeze on this unusually hot, overcast and muggy day.  The clouds provided little relief, mostly holding in the heat.  Just as I pronounced the couple husband and wife, the sun came out from behind the clouds full blast, and then it began sprinkling besides.  One could almost hear the “s‑s‑s‑s‑t” as the raindrops landed on the wedding party and their guests.   

In situations such as these, the wedding itself can be the first test of how a couple handles challenges in their married life.  Can they laugh in the face of adversity?  Can they handle disappointment with grace?  Can they remember why they’re vowing to love, honor, and cherish in the first place?  If they can stay centered on the love that brought them together, as well as maintaining a sense of humor and grace, all things are possible.

Rev. Leah Light

www.weddedyourway.com

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      Have you ever heard the expression, “Don’t sweat the petty things, and don’t pet the sweaty things?”

      No matter how meticulous your wedding plans may be, there is bound to be something that goes wrong. Perhaps it will be some minor detail that no one thought of or a forgotten item left behind in the haste and chaos of the day. Maybe it will be a wilted flower or a late bridal attendant. Who knows what it will be? But something is bound to be amiss no matter how hard you will try to avoid it.

      As a wedding photographer, I have experienced this happening at nearly every wedding. With over 250 events under my belt, I’ve witnessed almost every scenario imaginable. And just when I think I’ve seen it all… I see something new.

      Last weekend’s bride had everything to perfection until the moment she put on her gown. The trouble began with a huge petticoat to be worn underneath the gown. She tried to put the dress on first by crawling in through the bottom. This doesn’t work. Remember to step into the gown and secure the petticoat after the gown is on. Otherwise the newly-coifed hair will be a disaster. Secondly, the bride had lost so much weight prior to the wedding that her dress was extremely loose in the bust. Your last fitting should be one week prior to the wedding. Any later can mean the difference between your dress fitting or not fitting. A lot of brides lose weight right before the big day either from stress or by obsessive workouts to look slim for the pictures. Either way, it is not cool to have a huge gap in the top of your gown. Fortunately we had “stick ‘ems” and I was able to tug, pin and stick the dress into firm shape. This took extra time and calming words, as my bride was on the verge of tears and a fastidious meltdown.

      Several brides in the past have had comparable dress catastrophes. The wedding gown is the number one “thing that might go wrong” experience - so be prepared and get that second or third fitting if need be.

      Another girl broke out in a red rash whenever she was nervous. She had a very fair complexion and the rash was all over her neck, chest and arms. With only half an hour before she was to walk down the aisle, we had to think fast. Certainly she did not want a red rash in all of her pictures. Benadryl Allergy Relief to the rescue! With an approximate working time of 20 minutes, the skin tone was back to normal by the time we reached the lobby of the church.

      Since I have photographed so many weddings and am usually in the bridal suite while the girls are getting ready, I have learned to have a knack for calming down brides who are in hysterics by simply bringing some of the items I am about to recommend.

      Here are some common and strange things you should pack in your bridal emergency kit: Needle and thread; safety pins; allergy medicine (such as Benadryl); extra bra padding or “stick-ems” to hold ‘em up freely; bobby pins; tissues; toothpaste; deodorant; blemish cover-up; tweezers; flip-flops; scissors; duct tape; an emery board; nail clippers; band-aids; burn relief spray or cream; razors; a brown eye pencil; and last but not least, a good luck charm. I could offer a related story for each of these items but will instead ask you to just TRUST me.

      Know your body and what stresses you out. Avoid it. The best piece of advice is no matter what the obstacle may be… remain calm. Don’t let anything ruin your day. Laugh it off! It will be funny when you look back on it after it’s all said and done. Although you can’t predict the future, you can try to plan for the unexpected disruptions.

Anne Violette is a freelance writer and professional photographer in Delray Beach, FL.  Find her at:  www.photomaine.com

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